I was looking for this article 'the tree, the leaf and the wind.' Hindi ko makita sa email kaya naisip ko baka nasa site na to. Honestly, I still go on this site from time to time. Nagbabasa ng mga post paulit ulit. Good memories.

I kept in touch kay Rona when I resigned and even when I left the country. Isa siang babaeng maitim ang budhi at punong punong ng masamang intention ayon sa botohan namin nila Rico at Jason. I know I hurt them both ni Juvi when I left the house few years back. Si Juvy ang nakadaig sa kaartehan ko. If I could turn back time I would have stayed sa tabi niya nung naloloka siya nun kay Ryan habang si Rona ay naloloka kay Edge. Matagal ko ng hindi nakakausap si Ryan pero parang masaya siya sa pictures pag nakikita ko ang friendster nya. Sa friendster ko din inaabangan ang latest na karelasyon ni Bullet wala lang. Sa friendster ko lang din na uupdate ang sarili ko kay Maan. Si Rose naman ay mukhang masaya na din. Im glad at nagkita na sila ng para sa kanila.  Kasabay ng pag alis ko sa apartment na kasama ko sila polo ay ang pag fo forgive sa sarili ko at paglimot sa mga hindi magagandang alaala.

The last time I came home to Manila, si Rona at Dennis lang ang nakita ko, ganun pa din ang amoy ni Rona, amoy finesse mousse. si Dennis babaeng babae na at may true love pa na 18 years old.

Ang Blue onion, ang mga irrate american passengers na ini slam, red horse, whistlestop,sakit ng ulo sa hangover, tequila, ortigas, banana, manga manga hinog ka na ba game, yung masayang party na may kandila effect pa, yung mga nagalit na kapitbahay na gusto ng bumalik ng probinsya, pagpapatoda, sapilitang pag ca calls, party sto. nino, sanmig light, octoberfest, inuman, skirt, sayawan, starbucks, make up station na puno ng eyeshadow, sun cellular na tawagan,lotus feet, fengshui movie, ang farm sa tag ulan,  UP, greenhills shoppping center at kung ano man yung pangalan ng bar na malapit sa octagon.

Its been years and years, sarado na ang whistlestop,iba na ang flat ko, iba na ang network provider ko, both me and danmile ay nasa dubai na but it no longer matter to me,iba na ang tiangge dito, Shiek zayed ang madaming gimikan, walang blue onion, sang katerbang pana at patan na napakareklamo, wala na ring hang over dahil hindi basta basta makakabili ng alak, mahal ang redhorse dito, sobra. heineken ang uso, twilight na ang usong movie ngayon, i stopped being a gay barometer, mas sikat na ang costa dito, karama na ang name ng tiangge, eyeliner na ang number one sa pag ma make up ko,iba na ang laman ng puso ko,ibang lahi, ibang culture, hindi ako umaasang siya na but i'm gonna love him bravely with my eyes open this time, baka happy ending na.

Nakita ko ang hinahanap kong article. Nakita ko rin uli kung gano kasaya at nakakamiss yung mga times kasama ang pink onion.

********

Aurea <"it's amazing what we'll go through to avoid being alone or to postpone the unpleasantness of a breakup ">

since i have nothing better to do and am in a blogging mood since 630 am, i will post for old times sake...

so yes, it has been my expertise to blog about you guys. But how do you blog about people you haven't seen for a very long time? Ironically, this blog was made out of friendship. We believed we were different...are we?

I guess not. Even landslide refuses to play in this blog...

Rona might be the most successful at keeping in touch. We're still bitching through IM....Au and her are still talking about pains...Madonna and her still own this special mother and child connection confused with lesbianism thing. Hehehe.

Where are the rest then?

Au aka secret crush is into boys now. LOL. She's in Dubai now and currently sporting her uniform which is made up of some cap and shawl. I think (though I'm not sure) that she is still with Rico or in the least, they still see each other constantly. Is she happy? Most probably. i know she's still dreaming...

Bullet is now truthfully married...if friendster is admissible in court, then I think we can bet that he's now the husband and father he claimed he was four years ago. :D

Deng. Deng. umm....Deng is working.

Dennis and I saw each other more than anyone else on the list of names here. We worked on the same account (until I left in May). Sadly, the closeness that we had when the group was still around seemed to have vanished when everyone left. Maybe it was the new respobsibilities of my work (I would most likely blame all of this on me) or maybe it was the broken timeline... sigh.

Joms called me twice this year. On one occassion, I was asleep and I couldn't really figure out the conversation. Hahaha. Though I am ashamed to admit it, I was even irritated. I love the fact that he still asked about school, he is still adamant that I finish. :)

Maan...I never call her Maan anymore. It's Madonna for everyone. :) This girl we can find when we need to. Thank god. She's in a good relationship and is quote: "very much in love".

Mikee. I miss Mikee. Rona and I were just talking about her the other day... we miss the stubbles in the morning...

Niko. He and I never really became that close....so there is not much that I can say.

Rona. The princess is still a princess. I was glad that I found a way to rekindle the friendship...and I am grateful that we are still in touch. She keeps me sane. She truly does that so I can't lose her. Imagine how much worse I will be if I do. Mwah!

Polo...one-liner: I hope he has work right now. hehehe. This is me being bad.

Rose. I miss her most of all those that I have not seen for years. I should have lsitened to her way back. I think I still remember her address...Rona, Madonna and I should drop by. Mental note...check friendster if she's still in the country.

Ry. This isn't a save the best for last thing, it was simply alphabetical. I followed the marquee thing on top to not forget anyone. Please it's barely 9 am and I do not want to hurl. Some things are wrong. It was wrong for me. Yes, i wish i could erase it. (Hahaha. I can feel Rona thinking I am very mean...write your own piece. LOL).

As always, I end with me. It's been almost 3 years, hasn't it? Rona and I have spent most of it together except for the last year, which saw her resignation and unashamed dependence on mommy for moolah. hehehe.

I stayed in TP for the last four year and except for Dennis who went back after quitting, I am the last to quit. I was as sup when most of you left, I became CM just this year and quit due to insurmountable difficulties TP has managed to impose.

Rona and I enjoyed the year I started driving my own car (and the occasional van when my car was in the casa). Hahaha. She was often hatid-sundo and I was a yaya. Too bad, gas now is at P57/liter. Sorry Bonchi no more road trips...unless you pay for gas.

I am getting married! yea right...hahaha. At least, I am now thinking of getting married. Lance and I fell in love while racing through edsa. We fooled around while he was accounted for because I was silly and inconsiderate. But things turned out not as expected, things turned out right. Rona and Madonna (I think) like him. I think Lance actually considers Rona to be the gf before he does me. Hehehe. As always.

I am back in school as a full-time student. I am still currently looking for work...though having a not so fun time doing it.

I am generally more than ok.

     Second birthday in TP...that means almost three years of friendship, change, love, hope and dreams. She's 24.I love you Au. 

The one that got away
Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal


In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

I  I asked Juvi the other day, "When was the last time you did something for the first time?" . No answer. I almost laughed.

I was smoking the other night when I realized that I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy. Sad. I almost cried.

R 3/2/06

...princess

sa mga taong nagbasa ng mga pahina dito... mga nagsabing ang saya sundan ang kulay ng pagkakaibigan ng pink-onion... nakakalungkot di ba? may katapusan nga siguro ang lahat... di palaging matibay ang pagkaka-ibigan...

matagal ko ng alam na di kami palaging masaya...na magtatapos din ang pantasya. hiram na mga bagay-- pagtakas sa totoo ang buhay namin kasama ang isa't isa...

alam ko na noon pa pero binigla pa rin ako ng katapusan. Naalala ko ang sabi ni master eric sakin..."hinangaan ko ang pagkakaibigan nyo. para kayong bahay sa bagyo... ung mga matatanggal sa unos ay ang mga yero na hindi matibay, mga kahoy na bulok...mga taong di pundasyon at di nyo talaga kailangan..."

naniwala ako. naniniwala pa rin ako. pero di ba nagigiba din ang semento?

Aurea - tinitignan kita sa labas ng aquarium tuwing napapadpad ka sa 11th. Bilib ako sa depinisyon mo ng pagmamahal. Nagmamahal ka ng naka-pikit...buong puso. Maaalala ko araw-araw noong araw na isinakripisyo mo ang sarili mo dahil sa mga pangarap ko... kahit gayuma lang ang habol mo..hehe!

Bullet - kung asan ka ngaun ewan namin...

Deng - mahirap ang buhay noh? siguro doble para sau. Nandito pa rin kami para sau kahit nakakapagod. Ang tanong ko lang e bakit bigla kang nawala? hinahanap ka namin... sinabi ni shad na nagkita kau, una kong tanong kung nakuha nya ang cel number mo... uwi ka naman minsan.

Dennis - magulo ka pa rin pag nakikita kita. Pinapasaya mo pa rin ako tulad ng dati. Dumaan ka ulit... hinihintay ka namin.

Joms - miss ko ang pick-up mo. Mga inosenteng kamanyakan mo...haha. Di ka na bata ngaun noh?

Madonna - mahal kita. gusto ko sabihin sau lahat ng nangyari sa buhay ko at gusto kong malaman lahat ng nangyari sa buhay mo. Araw-araw pinapangarap kong magkita tau at magkasama ng matagal. Di gagalaw ang oras... hahabol lang tao sa buhay ng isa't isa.

Mikee - Magpakita ka naman samin ulit. Nami-miss ko na ang mga damit mo at mga takong na napuputol pag naglalakad ka. Haha.

Polo - Pinaka-maswerte ka sa lahat sa amin dahil minahal ka ng bawat isa ng mas espesyal sa iba. Ni rona, ni rose, ni aurea, ako... bakit di mo pinahalagahan? Nalulungkot ako na hindi mo kami binigyan importansya tulad ng binigay namin sau. Hiling ko lang... pagkatapos ng lahat-- sana ayusin mo man lang ang buhay mo. Yun na lang ang kapalit ng lahat ng sama ng loob.

Rona - hanggang ngaun mahal mo pa rin kami lahat. Paano? Masaya ako na nandyan ka. Kahit hindi kita makita ng matagal, pareho pa rin tayo na parang kahapon lang magkasama. Payakap ulit...iiyak na naman ako.

Rose - Wala un. Kalimutan mo na. Kelan tau iinom?

Ry - Maiintindihan mo kaya ako? May mga bagay na di natin sinasadya. Nag-aalala ako sau at gusto kong sumaya ka... pero hindi na ko babalik sa dati.

Ang kainan sa parking lot... ang whistlestop... dun tayo madalas dati. pagkatapos ng trabaho, pinapa-ikot ang buhay natin sa isa't isa... wala na pala sila pareho. Nagsara na... Nagsara na rin ba tayo?

Bumalik naman tayo minsan...

1.. 2.. 3...

I count every second,

every minute,

then an hour passes...

for so much I try to put it at the back of my mind,

it comes back,

questions loop inside my head

like crazy whispers,

making me want to shout out loud

but I can't...

My mind has now become so numb,

wanting to close my eyes to lie in eternal slumber...

then the thought comes back...

Thinking, wondering...

confused that I am here,

without you...

1.. 2.. 3... miles?

how far should I walk to search and find you,

hold you.. be with you again...

1.. 2.. 3... days?

months?

years?

How long does it take to make you see?

How much of these can I take?

=zer0=